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"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?"
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!"
"The Chinese Communist Party is the core of the Chinese revolution, and its principles are based on Marxism-Leninism. Party criticism should be carried out within the Party."
"Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand."
"Asparagus."
"Did anyone see my lost carrier?"
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest!"
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Save the whales, collect the whole set"
"A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"There's too much blood in my caffeine system."
"Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity."
"I wont rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it."
"Double your drive space - delete Windows!"
"What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?"
"Who art thou?"
"All your base are belong to us."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector."
"I used to have a handle on life, then it broke."
"Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
"Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."
"When there's a will, I want to be in it."
"Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?"
"Never gonna gie you up, never gonna let you down."
"It is necessary for intellectuals, students, soldiers and the average peasant to pay attention and involve themselves with political work. This is particularly true in wartime."
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?"
"All generalizations are false, including this one."
"Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy."
"90% of all statistics are made up"
"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience."
"Who took a bite out of the Macintosh Apple?"
"Apple Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton."
"Bother, said Pooh as the brakes went out!"
"Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg."
"C++ should have been called B"
"COINCIDENCE happens."
"What is the law?"
"Careful. We don't want to learn from this. -- Calvin"
"Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery."